I feel like you can just never get enough of self-love and we all need to love ourselves more.
The best things happen ALWAYS from a place of love instead of hate, guilt, fear, anxiety, shame, etc.
Learning to love yourself is not an easy thing and it takes dedication.
You have to make that commitment to yourself on the daily.
Even when life gets shitty, you feel down, life isn’t going the right way, you lose something or someone…
You will always have yourself.
And when you truly love yourself, you know things will be okay even when things are hard.
In order to commit to someone else or something else, you have to commit to yourself first.
Wanna know why?
If you completely depend on that one thing for your happiness… and then all of a sudden that one thing is gone or gets taken from you…. your lost.
But if you have a good, loving relationship with yourself and are happy with just you and who you are, you’ll realize that you don’t need an outside source to make you happy.
I used to rely on a whole boat load of things that I thought I needed to be happy.
Like exercise and eating. I used to manipulate it because I needed to be thinner and thought that would make me happy.
A guy to make me happy instead of loving myself first.
Worrying what people would think of me, constantly seek others approval.
I would be scared to leave the house without makeup on in case I seen someone and they thought I looked ugly.
See how this is such an unhealthy pattern?
I used to never fully accept myself for who I am, or love myself just the way I am.
I just went through life like that for a long time, not realizing how self-destructive that was.
It takes quite the journey to love yourself fully, and it’s still a work in progress some days.
Which is totally okay, we are only human.
But I really want to share with you how I got to a point of self-love and stopped hating on myself and my body.
Just so you guys know, these tips are things I do and practice almost, if not everyday.
Its not like you do these things once or twice and your like wow i love myself so much forever!
Sadly it doesn’t work like that. Not for me anyways.
ANOTHER thing… I am just sharing what has worked for me and hopefully give you some tips to try out for educational purposes only.
Tips on loving yourself more
1. Do you find yourself working out, running for hours, lifting weights, biking, because you feel like you have to lose weight? Because you ate something not so healthy and need to “get rid of it”?
Yeah? Well I hear ya sister. We have all been there and the funny thing is we think thats healthy behaviour.
But its not coming from a place of self-love if your focus is to always get smaller.
Try to start listening to your body more and think okay I am working out because it feels good.
I am working out today because my body wants to move and sweat. I am celebrating all my body allows me to do.
This was a huge game changer for me. And whenever I think to myself “I need to workout because I ate like crap lastnight.” I stop myself.
Its okay to eat chocolate and pizza and chips if you want too.
I mean yes eating healthy is important too but I’m just saying you don’t need to constantly say no to “bad food.”
Cause the more you do, the more you view it as unhealthy and the more you will feel the need to burn it off when you eat it.
When you start working out because it feels good and because you love your body not hate it… you will see a big change in your growth.
2. Same thing goes for eating. Are you eating because it tastes good, fills you up, makes you feel good?
OR are you eating small portions, only “clean” foods that have no flavour or taste, little calories, no fat, etc., because you’re scared to gain weight.
Maybe your not even eating foods that taste good but you feel like you need to eat it because it fits your diet or your macros.
Listen to your body, eat what you crave. Your body is a lot smarter than you think and knows what it wants.
When I’m craving fruits and vegetables I’ll eat them, when I want carbs I will have some, when my body wants pizza and ice cream I will have some.
Food should NEVER be associated with guilt
Like ever. Food is food, it is energy, it is fuel and it is okay to eat.
Don’t be scared of your appetite. If you’re hungry, eat. If not, then don’t eat.
What drives me insane about this whole keto coffee thing is people say it “controls hunger and appetite”
WHY DO YOU NEED TO CONTROL YOUR HUNGER.
If your body is hungry then eat some dang food girl!
Seriously. Diet culture is just insane. Food and nutrition shouldn’t be so complicated.
I talk more on this diet culture in my post How to Leave Diet Culture Behind
3. Spend time alone
This can actually be scary at first.
After my anxiety/OCD was really, really bad I was so scared to be alone.
I relied on other people to be around me all the time so I felt safe.
But when I did have the house to myself or had to be alone, it scared the crap out of me, my anxiety would kick into overdrive and I would just sit in a panic.
Which takes me back to why relying on other things to make you feel happy or safe is never a good thing.
Cause when you are all alone, YOU is all that you have.
YOU have to be the one to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and make peace.
After I ended my relationship after 6 years, I literally had no fucking clue how to be alone and spend time with myself.
I always had someone else to spend time with so I forgot who I really was.
My advice to you, even if its scary and uncomfortable (thats where growth happens):
is to spend time alone, spend time doing things you like to do by yourself.
Read a book, watch a funny show, journal, listen to music, read a magazine, just chill on your bed, go for a walk, look inwards.
You have got to be in a relationship with yourself first before your in one with someone else.
4. Regularly make time to relax, unwind, rejuvenate
“You cannot pour from an empty cup”
Love that quote and post from Thrive Global
Allowing yourself to just fucking chill can be so rewarding especially if your always busy and always feel the need to be doing something.
You can’t be your best self at work, at the gym, in your relationship if you don’t find that time to relax.
I hate when people say “No days off” or brag about how they haven’t had a rest day in weeks.
Like how’s your mental health bro?
If you’re exhausted and need a day to sleep, watch netflix, not get out of your pjs then do it.
Listen. To. Your. Body.
5. Recognize how you talk to yourself
Loving yourself is definitely taking the necessary actions and showing that you care for it.
But it’s also the way you talk to yourself and your mental dialogue.
I remember when I went through a shitty break up I would literally talk to myself and be like “your going to be okay” or “how are you doing”
I reminded myself to be kind to myself because healing from anything is a slow, painful process.
Beating yourself up isn’t going to get you anywhere though.
Sometimes I recognize when I’m comparing myself to others and then I immediately let that thought go and think “I’m perfect the way I am”
When you wake up in the morning and look at yourself in the mirror what do you think? What are your thoughts about yourself?
I used to wake up and right away look at my body in the mirror. Side to side, check out my tummy, my legs, my arms.
Then criticize how I looked and what I wanted to change.
I used to look at my hair and my face and wished I woke up flawless and perfect looking.
Now I laugh if I have those thoughts and not take myself seriously.
I look at myself in the mirror and think “I’m perfect the way I am, flaws and all.” or “I love myself no matter what.”
Kind of corny and cheesy I know, but worth it and it has worked!
Just changes your thought process.
6. You can say no.
You can say no to hanging out and spending time with people who don’t make you feel good.
or to those people on social media you scroll by and immediately give you a bad, toxic energy. (unfollow button where you at)
You’re allowed to say no to projects, opportunities, paths, that don’t make you feel good.
You can say no to people who ask you to do stuff or ask so much from you and don’t give anything back in return.
It is YOUR LIFE and YOU are in charge of it.
If something inside you feels off, and doesn’t feel good about something… you can say no.
That to me, is a really big form of self-love.
7. Focus on the people who make you feel good
Think about the people in your life and pay attention to how they make you feel.
A lot of times you are only hanging out with people because you feel like you have to, or you have mutual friends.
Do you have a friend who doesn’t make you feel valued, who you don’t really trust, who makes you feel bad about yourself and your life accomplishments?
Maybe it’s time to lovingly remove those people in your life and focus on the people you do have who make you feel amazing.
They celebrate with you instead of act jealous, they cheer you on, they support you and always have your back instead of talk behind it.
Those are the types of friends/family members/partners you should focus your time and energy on.
8. Forgive yourself and others
Are you holding onto something that happened a long time ago? And STILL beat yourself up over it?
Or someone screwed you over, did you wrong and you can’t BELIEVE they did that?
Well girl… take a deep breathe and LET THAT SHIT GO!
I know it’s easier said then done… but the past is the past and we all are human and all make mistakes.
We get literally no where in life by resenting others and holding onto grudges.
The only person your hurting is yourself.
Forgiving yourself and others brings you so much peace because your allowing the past to stay in the past.
Your being brave enough to move forward with your life and accept what has happened.
Always accept the situation, never resist. (Shoutout to my main man Eckhart Tolle for teaching me acceptance… seriously if you haven’t read his books I highly recommend.)
Especially The Power of Now its on amazon!
Like I said, all my blog posts are for educational purposes only and I am sharing what has worked for me to hopefully help someone else.
This information should not be replaced by medical attention or professional help.
Loving yourself is a never-ending journey but definitely one that is worth while.
When you love yourself fully, you are a free bird and know that you will have your own back no matter what.
Everything will seem lighter, less serious and more fun!
Thanks again for reading guys you rock!
And I want to hear from you!
Let me know in the comments, what do you guys do to practice self-love?
Have a GREAT Tuesday.